07/10/2012

James Bond Franchise Sucks

Daniel Craig 007 Skyfall
James Bond Skyfall 2012
Ben Delicious writes from London: I am sorry to dampen the spirits of the James Bond franchise fans but I could never understand what the whole big deal was all about. Yeah, yeah, it has gone on for 50 years now and supposedly millions of people loved it to death but I still think it’s all been hyped up.


Bond film is upon us, Skyfall, and it’s David Craig’s third attempt to portray a cool and suave British secret agent. Daniel looks more like a Polish plumber than an agent. Craig was a terrible choice for Bond. Just like it was crazy to cast that politically correct woman, Dame Judy Dench, to play M, Bond’s boss. These two alone manage to make the Bond films look pathetic.


Pierce Brosnan 007
Pierce Brosnan's voice


There are no plots in most Bond films. It’s just a crudely linked narrative of action scenes in all sorts of exotic locations, meaningless dialogues and laughable bedroom scenes. This habit that Bond has of looking suggestively at every woman he bumps into who then fall for his charms in a moment’s notice is really irritating. And the jokes just simply don’t work, I’m sorry. It s really quite hard to understand why women actually fall for Bond.

Roger Moore as James Bond


Roger Moore, who took over from Connery, was an even bigger disaster. All Bond films with him are unbearable to watch. He managed to screw all his lines, every bloody one, and his so called jokes sounded cringingly bad. After the disastrous Quantum of Solace the Bond franchise should have been laid to rest.These are just snippets extracted from yesterday's post over on Stirring Trouble Internationally - A humorous take on news and current affairs.

Sean Connery at the private party after the pr...